you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
