you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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