Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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