; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook