Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again