This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you never un-have a 4some
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.