The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I smell stomach acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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