so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
