What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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