If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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