Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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