just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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