i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize