I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's never too late to be topless.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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