I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I want to make a zoo with you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
