There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
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Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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