Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize