you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
