Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
