The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.