So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need a beard to bite.