GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize