maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
