well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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