The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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