I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
