..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
