Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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