super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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