there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
