Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
