I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize