Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
