How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
