pop tarts are not kleenex
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
