Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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