we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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