He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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