What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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