I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
