So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
