Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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