opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
