i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
