yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
