I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
