Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
