I think my fart just growled at me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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