what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
