I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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