Moan for me like Helen Keller
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
