Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need a beard to bite.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
