Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
