glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
