He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
