no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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