I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
