Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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