Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
