her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
