Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
