i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
They took my balls.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
