let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
