My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I FOUND THE LEGS
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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