He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
