So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
