doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
